An Ode to Past Love
I
will finish this story one day, when hearing your name no longer
stings, when reliving our memories no longer cuts through my chest. I
haven't heard from you since the night we decided to break it off, but
your last words still echo so loudly within
me. "I love you. Goodbye," you said. "I love you, too," I replied. It's
the most exquisite kind of farewell I've ever had.
What you and I had was something I never even imagined having. I was content and happy sailing on my own before you came along. I thought things couldn't be better, but when we got together, you proved me wrong. The journey turned out to be more meaningful. With you, even the storms looked calm and beautiful. You've shown me that selfless love—the kind of love that endlessly forgives and understands—still exists in human form. You never doubted my faith despite seeing my deepest hurts and darkest meltdowns. Instead, you gave me so much grace and hope, and you believed in my capacity to carry on. Navigating the narrows with you made me oblivious of my own hang-ups and immediate surrounds. It was then that I realized that sailing with you was worth all the risks. Maybe you're just an ephemeral part of my journey. Maybe not. Nonetheless I'm infinitely grateful to have known you. For the nonce, I just have to do the sailing on my own like I used to. I have to. Because the earth will not stop spinning for a brokenhearted girl. Life goes on: the ocean is still vast and there is still a lot more to explore. New people to meet, new memories to make. Who knows, the ending to this story may just be beyond the line where the earth and the sky meet.
I will finish this story one day, when the entirety of my being is already healed.
_
I wrote this piece back in April in an attempt to diminish the weight that lingered in my chest. It's been seven months, and I'm still sailing on my own. But, things have changed a little. The pain has subsided, and some of the wounds have mended. I've come to realize that sometimes, it takes losing the way to be able to find one's self. The journey may be long, but there's so much beauty in discovering where one really belongs.
What you and I had was something I never even imagined having. I was content and happy sailing on my own before you came along. I thought things couldn't be better, but when we got together, you proved me wrong. The journey turned out to be more meaningful. With you, even the storms looked calm and beautiful. You've shown me that selfless love—the kind of love that endlessly forgives and understands—still exists in human form. You never doubted my faith despite seeing my deepest hurts and darkest meltdowns. Instead, you gave me so much grace and hope, and you believed in my capacity to carry on. Navigating the narrows with you made me oblivious of my own hang-ups and immediate surrounds. It was then that I realized that sailing with you was worth all the risks. Maybe you're just an ephemeral part of my journey. Maybe not. Nonetheless I'm infinitely grateful to have known you. For the nonce, I just have to do the sailing on my own like I used to. I have to. Because the earth will not stop spinning for a brokenhearted girl. Life goes on: the ocean is still vast and there is still a lot more to explore. New people to meet, new memories to make. Who knows, the ending to this story may just be beyond the line where the earth and the sky meet.
I will finish this story one day, when the entirety of my being is already healed.
_
I wrote this piece back in April in an attempt to diminish the weight that lingered in my chest. It's been seven months, and I'm still sailing on my own. But, things have changed a little. The pain has subsided, and some of the wounds have mended. I've come to realize that sometimes, it takes losing the way to be able to find one's self. The journey may be long, but there's so much beauty in discovering where one really belongs.
